Over the past couple of days, there’s been a flurry of discussion in female geek blogland over the web-stalking of techie expert Kathy Sierra. Apparently somebody or a group of somebodies has decided that it’s incredibly amusing to make mean, violent, and sexualized comments about her on her blog and elsewhere. Now the insults have escalated into Photoshopped pictures of Sierra with panties over her face. What’s sad is that Sierra — who has a reputation for being incredibly nice and non-controversial — has responded (understandably) with fear. After all, this griefer has posted about wanting to slit her throat and hang her. She’s called the FBI, and has cancelled public appearances because she’s afraid that her stalker may get violent in real life.
As Sierra explains on her blog, her first impulse was to ignore the griefer responsible. After all, there are lots of creeps running around online who will say whatever they can to get attention. But then it began to dawn on her that people she respected were maintaining the websites where this griefer was posting, and not taking the posts down (they have been taken down now). And she also talked about how she’s been singled out for attention in part because she’s female:
I do not want to be part of a culture–the Blogosphere–where this is considered acceptable. Where the price for being a blogger is kevlar-coated skin and daughters who are tough enough to not have their “widdy biddy sensibilities offended” when they see their own mother Photoshopped into nothing more than an objectified sexual orifice, possibly suffocated as part of some sexual fetish. (And of course all coming on the heels of more explicit threats)
I do not want to be part of a culture where this is done not by some random person, but by some of the most respected people in the tech blogging world. People linked to by A-listers like Doc Searls, a co-author of Chris Locke. I do not want to be part of a culture of such hypocrisy where Jeneane Sessum can be a prominent member of blogher, a speaker at industry conferences, an outspoken advocate for women’s rights, and at the same time celebrate and encourage a site like meankids — where objectification of women is taken to a level that makes plain old porn seem quaintly sweet.
She also points out that people are always talking about how they want more women to come to conferences and other tech events — and yet those very same people tolerate these kind of freaky sexual insults in their communities.
As somebody who has also been stalked by griefers — and who has had to deal with the Slashdot crowd debating the relative merits of my body — I can understand why Sierra is disturbed. If it were me, I would be angry rather than afraid. But fear and anger are two faces of the same thing. They’re what we feel when we’re helpless to change something huge, like intrenched sexism, in the communities and industries we call home.
One of the things about this kind of attack is that it is meant to take women’s power (either as perceived by the stalker, and/or her very real technical credibility) away–which is one of the reasons that it’s passively condoned by the male dominated tech world. There’s an element of fear of a strong, capable, intelligent woman behind it who’s making the stalker feel inadequate (poor loser baby!), so your post’s title was more apt than others might realize.
I’m with you on this one, Annalee. Anger is much more constructive than fear, though they’re two sides of the same coin. It’s important to prosecute this kind of behavior because it’s not only dangerous and uncivilized, it’s the tactic of bullies who need to be taught that they can’t get away with it. Got a stalker (and I’ve had one too, so I do know how scary it is)? Fight back, ladies. Demand action, and prosecute when he’s found.
And guys, if this happens on your watch and you do nothing, you’re just as responsible. It’s called aiding and abetting. It should matter to you because you’ve all got a woman in your life somewhere.
What’s also bothered me about this whole incident (besides the glaringly obvious) is the number of (male) commenters on various blogs that shame Kathy for choosing to not make public appearances—for not “taking it like a man”, in other words. The number is small compared to the number of comments in support, but still, the fact that there are any comments of this flavor show that some of our (male) counterparts just *don’t get* why this whole incident is so problematic. As Lee points out, this isn’t just idle bullying on the playground—this is a concerted effort to take away women’s power and of trying to silence women who are getting “too strong for their own good”. And that’s symptomatic of what’s wrong with the tech culture as a whole, as it stands now.
Hi Charlie and Annalee,
I just came across your great blog here while searching the web for more information about the Kathy Sierra case. I first became aware of her situation from an article in tomorrow’s SF Chronicle (already online tonight at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/29/BLOG.TMP ).
I agree with Jane’s posting above that some of our male counterparts are “tone deaf” to the problems of written and verbal harassment against women. Because of male privledge, they’re blind to the effects that words and attitudes can have – creating a climate where discrimination and even intimidation and violence can be considered acceptable.
The problems are not just limited to the tech world or the world of blogs – they happen in the “real” world as well. Witness the hollabacknyc.com site and it’s various spin-offs, where women trade sometimes chilling tales of encounters with street harassers.
I posted an article about Hollaback to my Yahoo group, and was appalled at the responses of a couple of men (guys who had been lurkers up to that moment but suddenly wouldn’t stop trying to shout everyone else down). These guys just didn’t “get it” – on everything from the power dynamics of verbal harassment, to why sites like that are important tools of empowerment.
This is why education about these issues is so important. Education needs to start at the middle school level. And sadly, many of these men never seem to have evolved beyond middle school.
I’ve had death threats more than once online. By females. I’m male. One included information indicating that she clearly knew how to find me if she wanted to.
Does that mean that the whole incident was an episode of man-hate? Or was she just an asshole? Honestly, just because someone is offensive toward you and they have a penis doesn’t make it an issue of hating women. And just because other people tell you to get over it and move on like tens of millions have done over the decades of using the internet doesn’t mean they don’t understand, sympathize or like women. Like me, they would probably say the same thing regardless of your sex.
What the person or persons said regarding this incident was disgusting and somewhat frightening. Let’s leave it at that. You can’t expect the lot of us to sit here and listen to a lot of women (by the way, you make up more than 50% of the internet and bloggers you know) tell us how selfish, ignorant and hateful we are just because we don’t fall to our knees and lock the proverbial internet-gates the instant you try to manipulate the argument into something which is less “this guy posted something hateful, disgusting and offensive” and more “this guy posted something hateful, disgusting and offensive and this just shows how male geeks are misogynists and just think of women as tits and vaginas because they aren’t all falling all over themselves in response to this”.
But you know, this was a great ploy on Sierra’s part. Until she decided to run around the internet like some damsel in distress and told people she was afraid to use the internet and had locked herself in her bedroom with the lights off for however long, I had never heard of her.
Also, I don’t particularly care if there are women where I work or at conferences I go to. I’m not into number crunching. I want people to be where I work and at conferences I go to who are intelligent and enthusiastic about these things. Whether they have a penis or breasts is entirely irrelevant. And it should be to you, as a female, also. The way you discuss this, one gets the impression that you go around saying “I am a woman and I am attending this conference! Aren’t I awesome?!”.
Seriously. It’s 2007. Can girls please stop acting like the world needs to stop and take a collective gasp every time she engages in something typically geek-related? I think most of us are over it already. Jump on in and have some fun. But if you don’t want to be treated differently, stop pointing it out in the moment. Yes. You have boobies. Good for you. Now help me carry my monitor into the LAN, please.
We *wish* it could be so easy to silence male dipshit bloggers
Maybe I should explain. Kathy wasn’t targeted because she was a woman, Kathy was targeted in *that way* because she was a woman. Let’s face it: women are just weaker, easier to scare away with vague threats, just like closet homos in their teens. Stop being weak and you’ll stop being targeted, or stay weak and learn to stay in your place. We put overambitious weaklings back in their place – back in their homes (or motel rooms), sobbing, as the case may be