I never wanted to be a professor. That’s why I didn’t go to graduate school immediately from undergrad; academia was not calling me. When I did apply, I had a whole metaphysical argument mapped out for why an education in science would perfectly outfit me for a career in humanitarian aid. I firmly believe I will be just as much a scientist no matter where I work or what I do.
But I’m starting to feel personally responsible for fixing the gender gap.
Over 40% of the students and post-docs here are women. The faculty seems to be roughly 12% women. We talk about this discrepancy privately (in equal parts anxiety, anger and resignation). We talk about it publicly (at meetings for the new grad women in science association, at departmental retreats). The questions are always: “How do we change the ratios? How do we ensure more women make it to the top?”
What is the answer if not “By staying in academia yourselves”?
Am I doing a disservice to all girls and women in science if I drop out of academia? Am I merely contributing to the problem? Most of all, after all my ranting and raving about the gender inequities, how can I justify not staying to fix them?
Tonight I’m supposed to meet my two new undergraduate mentees – matched with me by the aforementioned grad women’s group. What do I tell them? “Yes, stay in science! Girls can do it! (But actually, I’m leaving)”? What kind of role model does that make me?
I’m curious about what you’ll do when/if you leave academia. Are you planning to go into industry? Or leave the sciences altogether?
I’ve started a nonprofit – which I hope to run full time if I can find the funding! Otherwise I hope to find a job in international aid (ideally agriculture related). So I guess essentially I’ve always planned to “leave science” – at least the day-to-day pipetting involved…
Hmm. I guess you’ve already met with them. But I’ll answer anyway.
As an undergraduate student, I don’t see the problem with telling them that they should consider a career in academia, and when the question of what you are doing comes up, explain that while you enjoyed teaching/research/whatever it is you’re currently doing it is *not* what you want to do for the rest of your life. You can also emphasize that if being a professor is what they want, they should go for it. Ditto for other career paths.
And don’t feel guilty for not personally fixing the gender gap. You can’t do everything. (well, that’s what my mom tells me. it doesn’t stop me from trying, so you can ignore it too.
)
Your concern makes all kinds of sense, but think about what a terrible irony it would be if the result of your feminist awareness was you *not choosing the career you desire*…
And science-aware people are important everywhere. Academia tends to think of academia as the only important place in the world, and that’s where you are right now so that attitude would naturally start to rub off… but it’s not. The rest of the world matters, too, and the rest of the world needs science-aware women, too.
I’ve grappled with this myself, having left physics nine years ago because I was very unhappy with the path I was on in physics.
The thing is, you have to live a life that’s true to yourself. Being a professor is too much work for someone whose heart isn’t really in it. And trying to suppress who you really are would come back to bite you sooner or later.
But while you’re still in academia, you can talk to the younger women honestly about the obstacles you’ve encountered and the successes you’ve had to help give them a road map to navigate as far as they want to go in that world. I think sharing whatever wisdom you have and doing what you can to steer your mentees towards the research groups or subject areas where they’re most likely to succeed is what you can do.
Seeing someone putting her Ph.D. to work outside of the academic sphere might just inspire another woman to give graduate school a try and discover that her interests lie in the lab after all, too.
Remember life is long, and can take you on a very winding path. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Women’s lives in science (and some other careers) are tough for so many reasons. What will probably help most is talking about it.
I think most women who study science but don’t choose academia struggle with that. I justify it to myself so: there are many great researchers, but not as many detail-obsessed control freaks to do support work. I am the latter. I would be a competent (not brilliant) researcher and a lousy professor–if I even got a job–and what kind of role model would that make for those female undergrads? I’d rather be a reminder that there are, in fact, other things to do with a science degree besides go get a PhD and spend 15 years scrabbling for tenure.
Ultimately, I think that you can’t really contribute unless you love what you’re doing. We undergraduate women who are considering a career in academic science aren’t just looking for _more_ female professors and research professors, we’re looking for mentors who are happy with their lives and passionate about their work. I’ve deeply appreciated the driven, excited female professors I’ve had, but I’d rather have a happy and supportive mentor of either gender than someone unhappy with his or her career.